my birthday angel

Cais is seven today! I can't believe that seven years ago I was in the hospital pushing my brains out to bring her into the world. I was telling her the "birth story" this morning on the way to school and I burst into tears.....and then she did! HA! Like mother, like daughter!
She has had a great day....cupcakes at school, dinner with family tonight and a party with friends on Sunday. She's getting a Beta fish from us and new bedroom stuff. We're going to have a mother/daughter day next weekend. I'm really looking forward to it.
She is so beautiful and getting to be really independent. It breaks my heart, but I'm also excited to see what God has in store for her in the future.
I can only hope that we have the same incredible relationship that I have with my mom. It is my greatest hope!
So, happy birthday my sweet angel girl! May all your dreams come true and may God truly bless year number 7 for you!

feelings

Isn't it interesting how different things affect your feelings? I am not one to get my feelings hurt very easily, so things that would roll off my back really hurt other's feelings.
I was faced with a situation last week where something I wrote here hurt someone else's feelings. While I didn't look at it as hurtful, the other person really was upset. So, I removed the post. Honestly, I didn't want to - they are MY feelings/opinions/observations of life. But, I found that I also didn't want this person to have hurt feelings over what I said.
Unfortunately, I find that I'm irritated and feeling like MY privacy has been invaded. I want to be able to say what I want to say without feeling questioned at every turn. This is why I started blogging. It was more to have contact with my friends than anything else. When you only talk once a week/month on the phone, it is hard to remember everything you want to say. So, this is great, because I can sit down, type it out and no worries! Or so I thought......
So, I'm rethinking this blog thing. Maybe I'll post again and maybe not. If there is something important I need to say - check your email!

my easter bunnies

Aren't they cute? This was the BEST picture! I just had to share it will all of you!

in the air

WOW - what a week! I'm sorry if i've been a little incognito with everyone, but it's been crazy! I can't believe it's Monday again already....wasn't that yesterday? Here's my week:

I don't think I've had the stomach flu since I was pregnant with Wil. And believe me, after this week's bout with it - I never want it again! UGH! First Wil, then J and then me. I'm just really hoping that Cais and Sam don't end up getting it. My dad came down with it this morning....so my name is mud over there - HA!

My treatments are going OK. Found out my insurance will not cover this (big shocking surprise!) so they are going to let me self pay for $75 a shot. Which means about $600 by the time it's all said and done. GULP! But, I'm almost done with the first three weeks....and I have to say that I feel so much better! SO, it's worth it - in the long run.

Easter was great. Went to church and met the wife of the associate pastor. She introduced us to a bunch of people, one being the youth pastor. He is actually going to plant a church out of the Gilbert Vineyard, called Amadeo Church. I believe the web address is www.amadeochurch.com. If it doesn't come up, let me know and I'll try to figure it out. He was super nice. We are actually very interested in this, so we'll see where it takes us. We always were drawn to those youth pastor types! HA! They won't break away until next year, but are beginning to meet in May for meetings and information. So, I have no idea why, but J and I feel very excited about this prospect. I was VERY homesick in church because they sang "Amazing Love" and that's my favorite song to dance to. But, I did take Cais to girl's dance and it looks like a good thing. So, hopefully we'll be able to start plugging in and getting to know people. I'm feeling antsy to "get to work." I know.....it's a sickness!

Anyway, this week should calm down some. Soccer is the name of the game now, so we are gone three nights and half of Saturday doing that. I don't know what we're going to do when Wil starts in the fall! CALGON - TAKE ME AWAY!!

I'm trying to stay on top of everyone's blogs. Jason's latest post (well, the link) had smoke coming out of my ears! You should read what he wrote in reaction. Very thoughtful. I read it to J and he said it sounded like scripture! HA!

We just continue to be amazed at God's timing and provision. J gets calls daily to look at new work. We could still use the prayers though - no contracts yet! But, I just cannot believe how blessed we are to be able to do what we're doing. It's a dream come true.

copycat

Hi there! I'm back from my quick trip to ABQ. I saw this on Jason's blog and thought it was cool. Very interesting......
I'll blog more about the trip later. I'm going to bed!

sad

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to let you know that J's great-grandma "Maama" passed away yesterday. She was 93. We are going to Albuquerque today to attend the funeral on Monday. Please pray for safe travel and peace for J. He was very close to her growing up. He has lost 3 very special grandparents over the last 18 mos. I only met her two times. Once at my wedding and once when Cais was 14 mos. old. Cais took her first walking steps to her.

In loving memory of Sophia Johnson.

I'll catch up when I get back.

my girls

"Is it possible to have 'mother love' for kids that aren't yours?" a friend asked me recently. I had to say a resounding "YES!"

Sometimes (just for shock value) I tell people that we have six kids. Our oldest is 22 and our youngest is 2. HA! People stare incredulously at me until I explain that my oldest three aren't mine.

But, I have to say that I do believe that they are. Even though I did not bear them physically, I love them like I do my own. Jill, Toe and Trever will forever remain in my heart. I will never give up on them. I will always love them and care about their lives - what they are doing and where they are headed. Even though we do not live together, I still wish that I could see them every day. Even if just to give them a hug and let them know that I love them.

I recently "found" Jill and Toe through MySpace. Christie Weehunt (another one that I love dearly) let me know that I could find them there. So, we have reconnected and I am so happy. I love the fact that they aren't afraid to tell me the truth. They know I love them enough to look past it. They are "my girls." I have always called them that and I love the little smile that they get on their faces when I do.
Dana - are you on MySpace?

Anyway, just feeling a little nostalgic tonight. J is doing the paper route this week, so I am up alone while he is trying to get a couple extra hours of sleep in. He is so great to help this lady out. I guess it helps us out too. Three birthdays in one month is hard to pay for! Plus with my meds and treatment, who knows what that will cost us! So, even though it's a pain in the butt, I know it's God providing during this time. My father-in-law hired me to do a brochure for his new company too. Just pray that I don't strangle him before it's all over - HA!

Pray for creativity for me because these meds are messing with my brain. I may have to reduce the antidepressent in half. I'm going to talk to the doctor tomorrow. Still hating this stupid diet too. Maybe that's why I'm so grumpy.....no chocolate for a week will do that to you! ARGH! I'm hanging in there though - just trying to figure out what the heck I can eat! Surprisingly, dinners are the easiest! I bought this herbal sweetener called "Stevia" today. It can be put into water to flavor it. It's not bad and since I HATE drinking water, it does help and was worth the $15 I had to pay for it! I also bought Almond Butter since I can't have Peanut Butter. Not bad either - I actually may like it more! So, progress is being made!

out of it

I am feeling really tired. This medicine they have me on is doing screwy things with my emotions and sleep. This was going to be an update post, but I don't know if I can stay awake to finish it!

HEALTH

Well, I have to say that I am feeling so much better! The diet sucks, and the meds are making me really out of it. But I only went to the bathroom 7 times yesterday, vs. the 20 times from last week! So, YEA!!! I am really snapping at my family (more than usual - HA!) and I just feel like a space cadet! So, pray that my body comes into alignment with all the changes.

HOME

No news here. We have looked outside of Chandler/Gilbert, but still are having a hard time fitting it into our budget. So, I think we are going to passively look around and wait until August. Hopefully, J's work situation will improve and we'll be able to afford something closer in.

HAPPINESS

I am happy. I am tired and feeling weird, but happy. There are situations you just can't change, no matter how much you want them to be different! So, I'm embracing happiness and going from there!

Side Note: They are having a girl's worship dance class at the church to put a dance together for Mother's Day. I signed Cais up and I'm going to go with her and see if they need any help. I'm excited about this opportunity for Cais and I hope this is leading her in the right direction.

That's it for today! I'm headed off for a little nap before I pick up Cais! Love you all!