Well...I'm tired. We had a wonderful weekend with my family. It was so great to see all my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. We have grown a lot since our last reunion two years ago. It was really fun and worth all the hard work!
Thursday - We met at the church at 2 pm and totally pigged out! One thing about my family - we KNOW how to cook! We had tons of food and just had fun visiting and catching up. My aunt Jerri showed a video presentation in memory of Andrea before we left. It was sad, but neat to see old pictures of all of us as kids and remembering Andrea... Her boys were able to be there and it was good to see them.
Friday - We all did different things during the day. I went shopping with my Aunt Jackie, grandma, my cousin's wife Nikki, Chris and my mom. It was fun, but BUSY! We had a Mexican potluck in the evening with a game night after. We played games for about three hours! I played "SongBurst" with my cousins and we laughed and laughed! If you have never played that game, it is hysterical!
Saturday - We had a family picnic at the park all day. We played all kinds of games, ate (like we needed to!), and visited. It was great. That evening, we went to Joe's BBQ for dinner. Afterward we said goodbye to everyone and my Aunt Jackie, Uncle Jim, Casey (his partner),my grandparents and my cousin Ryan and Nikki came over to our house to look around. It was nice to finally show my grandparents where I live. They have never been to a house that was mine before.
All in all, it couldn't have been better. The kids all got along and hardly fought.
I realized several things while I was with my family this weekend:
1. My uncle Jim and his partner Casey are precious people. Even though I may not agree with homosexuality, I love my uncle very much. They are careful not to push it in anyone's face and are respectful. They are so fun to be with and J and I have had some heartfelt discussions about this whole issue. Both of us have/had uncles that are/were gay.
2. Even though my aunt Jackie and I have had some rocky times, I know she loves me like I was her own. She has been a very important person in my life for most of my life. She is great and I love her so much. She takes the time to have a relationship with all her nieces and nephews...and it pays off for her, because I know that we all feel the same way about her.
3. This might be the last time that my grandparents will be a part of all this. I was so sad to see that time is taking its toll. My grandma and grandpa are very special people and I don't want them to get old. They took great pains to make sure our family took and still takes time for each other.
4. My mom is one hard worker! She put all of this together, organized everyone and made sure that everyone had a good time. I just took orders! HA! It was interesting to see this side of her!
Anyway, this is becoming a book! Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and took the time to thank God for your own families! Wish we could've been with you all!
Monday, November 28, 2005
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
thanksgiving
As I go into a really crazy weekend with my family reunion, I want to pause and say "thanks" to all of you who have stood by and with me for a long time.
Alyson - Thanks for being such a great friend. I so enjoy our talks, even though we don't get to talk very often now, it's always like no time has passed. Thanks for keeping in touch even though we live apart. God is really working in your life, and that is so exciting and wonderful to see. We are praying for your mom and hope that this Thanksgiving is special, even under the circumstances.
Jason and Jenell - Thanks for being such a safe place for me to go to. I had such a good time when Cais and I were there! You have both been such incredible friends to both J and I. We miss you and your laughs! Jenell, thanks for everything. You are such an incredible example to all who you come in contact with. You are a beautiful, talented woman and I am proud to call you my friend. Enjoy your Thanksgiving with Dave and Denise...please tell them we said "Hi".
Marlene - Thanks for your constant support and encouragement. There are some days that I feel like I'm about "done in" and I'll get an email from you telling me that you guys are praying. Thanks for taking on such a daunting task at the church. I have heard from many people that you are doing a fanatastic job. I am so thankful to count you as a friend! I hope that your Thanksgiving is wonderful and relaxing.
I just felt like I needed to do that. Sometimes we get so caught up in the craziness of life that we forget that we need to thank and be thankful for all those who have made a difference in our lives.
Anyway, my family is here and everyone has made it safely. It's so great to visit with everyone and see how two years has made such a difference in everyone's lives. This will be a difficult time for us, as Andrea will not be here to celebrate with us. It is weird to think that she won't be here. Her boys are coming though and for that I am thankful. Her kids are about the same age as Cais and Sam.
I love you all!
Jen
Alyson - Thanks for being such a great friend. I so enjoy our talks, even though we don't get to talk very often now, it's always like no time has passed. Thanks for keeping in touch even though we live apart. God is really working in your life, and that is so exciting and wonderful to see. We are praying for your mom and hope that this Thanksgiving is special, even under the circumstances.
Jason and Jenell - Thanks for being such a safe place for me to go to. I had such a good time when Cais and I were there! You have both been such incredible friends to both J and I. We miss you and your laughs! Jenell, thanks for everything. You are such an incredible example to all who you come in contact with. You are a beautiful, talented woman and I am proud to call you my friend. Enjoy your Thanksgiving with Dave and Denise...please tell them we said "Hi".
Marlene - Thanks for your constant support and encouragement. There are some days that I feel like I'm about "done in" and I'll get an email from you telling me that you guys are praying. Thanks for taking on such a daunting task at the church. I have heard from many people that you are doing a fanatastic job. I am so thankful to count you as a friend! I hope that your Thanksgiving is wonderful and relaxing.
I just felt like I needed to do that. Sometimes we get so caught up in the craziness of life that we forget that we need to thank and be thankful for all those who have made a difference in our lives.
Anyway, my family is here and everyone has made it safely. It's so great to visit with everyone and see how two years has made such a difference in everyone's lives. This will be a difficult time for us, as Andrea will not be here to celebrate with us. It is weird to think that she won't be here. Her boys are coming though and for that I am thankful. Her kids are about the same age as Cais and Sam.
I love you all!
Jen
Saturday, November 12, 2005
mitford
I just finished reading the last book in the Mitford series. I'm feeling a little sad that this is the last time that I'm going to hear from these characters. "The Light from Heaven" is the seventh and final book about Father Tim and his people. It was a beautiful book that tied up most of the loose ends and ended how books like this should end.
I love happy endings. I love going to Mitford. I would love being a member in Father Tim's church - even if I have never been Episcopalian! I love the author - Jan Karon. She writes about a place that I would love to be a part of - even with all the snow! HA! Imagine that!
In my head I know that these people aren't real, but my heart still grieved when Uncle Billy died. I loved that Dooley and Lace end up together. I'm so glad that Father Tim and Cynthia are finally going on their long awaited vacation to Ireland.
I'll say it again...I love going to Mitford. When things in my world aren't fun or going the right way, all I have to do is open one of those books and I am transported into that world. A world where seasons come and seasons go, but relationship is the most important thing. A world where things go wrong, but there are people there to help pick up the pieces. A world where family means something!
I have to say that Father Tim has preached me a few sermons in these books. I have learned about a faith that knows no bounds. I have learned that we need to give thanks in EVERYTHING...no matter how good or bad it is!
And so I close with a heavy heart. I know that's a little dramatic, but I'm really sad that there won't be an eighth book to look forward to. If you ever get a chance to read these books, you should. The journey to Mitford is one you won't soon forget.
I love happy endings. I love going to Mitford. I would love being a member in Father Tim's church - even if I have never been Episcopalian! I love the author - Jan Karon. She writes about a place that I would love to be a part of - even with all the snow! HA! Imagine that!
In my head I know that these people aren't real, but my heart still grieved when Uncle Billy died. I loved that Dooley and Lace end up together. I'm so glad that Father Tim and Cynthia are finally going on their long awaited vacation to Ireland.
I'll say it again...I love going to Mitford. When things in my world aren't fun or going the right way, all I have to do is open one of those books and I am transported into that world. A world where seasons come and seasons go, but relationship is the most important thing. A world where things go wrong, but there are people there to help pick up the pieces. A world where family means something!
I have to say that Father Tim has preached me a few sermons in these books. I have learned about a faith that knows no bounds. I have learned that we need to give thanks in EVERYTHING...no matter how good or bad it is!
And so I close with a heavy heart. I know that's a little dramatic, but I'm really sad that there won't be an eighth book to look forward to. If you ever get a chance to read these books, you should. The journey to Mitford is one you won't soon forget.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
decisions
We have decided to start looking for a new church. We like the church we currently attend, but just don't feel like it's the right fit. This decision is hard, primarily because it means starting over yet again. We feel that we have gone about all this the right way, and know that this church just doesn't have what we need.
Last Sunday, we attended their welcome class. It was your basic Vineyard 101 class, background and vision stuff. I asked about dance and was told that I could lead a small group, but there wasn't room in the movie theater to dance. So, I couldn't ever dance in church. The pastor doesn't like free dance, with good reason. After careful consideration and prayer, I just feel that I need to go to a church that fully embraces dance and has an established team. This is what God called me to do with Cais and I feel that I need to honor that, no matter how uncomfortable that makes me. At BSF today, our leader said "Sacrifice is not a sacrifice unless it is a sacrifice." So true. This is a sacrifice to me, because this (dance) is always the first question I have to ask now.
It's interesting, because while J and I have been deciding this, my entire family has been in this same process. Matt and Chris and my mom and dad will be leaving the church either before or after Christmas. It's funny to me that this is all happening at the same time. I have known for some time that they have not been happy there, but just chalked it up to talk and not much more. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people leaving right now. I think it's a combination of needs not being met and giftings not being used because the leadership feels people aren't "good enough." Sadly, how are people ever going to learn how to do what God has called them to unless they are allowed to try, sometimes fail and then try again? I know from personal experience that the fact that Judy and Alyson allowed me to be on the dance team and were patient and worked with me, allowed me to build confidence to be able to actually dance before a congregation. It wasn't instant, but they saw that I was serious about what God had said and mentored that desire in my heart. Unless people are allowed to do that, how are new leaders, thoughts, ideas, music, worship going to be raised up?
Growing up as a pastor's kid has made me a little jaded when it comes to church. I tend to question motives and be very cynical - especially about church politics. Working in the church has made me really disillusioned with people in general. It seems that everyone wants a piece of the "action" without taking any responsibility for nuturing it and helping it grow. However, growing up a PK has enabled me to see these things and try to work to change it. I feel so much freedom in being able to make this decision. This is new for me, as I have never had to look for another church before. Weird.
Sorry my thoughts are rambling....I'm just processing all of this and hope it makes sense. We are going to try the Gilbert Vineyard after Thanksgiving and go from there. Pray that we are able to find a new church home quickly and without too much drama.
Last Sunday, we attended their welcome class. It was your basic Vineyard 101 class, background and vision stuff. I asked about dance and was told that I could lead a small group, but there wasn't room in the movie theater to dance. So, I couldn't ever dance in church. The pastor doesn't like free dance, with good reason. After careful consideration and prayer, I just feel that I need to go to a church that fully embraces dance and has an established team. This is what God called me to do with Cais and I feel that I need to honor that, no matter how uncomfortable that makes me. At BSF today, our leader said "Sacrifice is not a sacrifice unless it is a sacrifice." So true. This is a sacrifice to me, because this (dance) is always the first question I have to ask now.
It's interesting, because while J and I have been deciding this, my entire family has been in this same process. Matt and Chris and my mom and dad will be leaving the church either before or after Christmas. It's funny to me that this is all happening at the same time. I have known for some time that they have not been happy there, but just chalked it up to talk and not much more. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people leaving right now. I think it's a combination of needs not being met and giftings not being used because the leadership feels people aren't "good enough." Sadly, how are people ever going to learn how to do what God has called them to unless they are allowed to try, sometimes fail and then try again? I know from personal experience that the fact that Judy and Alyson allowed me to be on the dance team and were patient and worked with me, allowed me to build confidence to be able to actually dance before a congregation. It wasn't instant, but they saw that I was serious about what God had said and mentored that desire in my heart. Unless people are allowed to do that, how are new leaders, thoughts, ideas, music, worship going to be raised up?
Growing up as a pastor's kid has made me a little jaded when it comes to church. I tend to question motives and be very cynical - especially about church politics. Working in the church has made me really disillusioned with people in general. It seems that everyone wants a piece of the "action" without taking any responsibility for nuturing it and helping it grow. However, growing up a PK has enabled me to see these things and try to work to change it. I feel so much freedom in being able to make this decision. This is new for me, as I have never had to look for another church before. Weird.
Sorry my thoughts are rambling....I'm just processing all of this and hope it makes sense. We are going to try the Gilbert Vineyard after Thanksgiving and go from there. Pray that we are able to find a new church home quickly and without too much drama.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
pure
It's always amazing to me how God uses words of knowledge when we least expect it.
About a year and a half ago, a man named Bobby Conner came to our church to speak. He had a prophecy for each member of the staff and I was really surprised that I was included. He just spoke two scriptures over my name: Matthew 5:8 and Job 42:5. Here is what they say:
Matthew 5:8 - "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
Job 42:5 - "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."
I always laughed when I thought of those verses, because if you know me AT ALL you know that I feel like a person who is not the least bit pure of heart! A man in our church started calling me "pure heart" when addressing me and I used to smile and think "ummm...no!"
However, over the last two weeks, both of these verses have been used either in Sunday service or BSF to encourage and enlighten me.
We sing a song in church about how "my ears have heard and now my eyes shall see your glory". On Sunday, our pastor, John Hernandez spoke about being pure of heart. Instead of addressing it like being pure of heart is always having pure thoughts/motives, he said that being pure of heart is having room in your heart ONLY for God and letting His love pour out over all the other things in your life (like family/spouse/finances, etc...) He had us make a list of all the things that we crowd into our heart and place over God. I think I wrote down 20 things....seriously! I was so convicted! And then it hit me....those who are pure of heart shall see God because God is all they see! When we start living like serving God is the most important thing, all things will fall into the place where GOD intends them to be.
Pray for me. We are taking the welcome class at our church and will have to make a decision in two weeks whether we would like to be members or not. We are really undecided and are feeling a little confused.
This learning stuff is kicking my butt.....but I have to say that I am SO loving it right now!
About a year and a half ago, a man named Bobby Conner came to our church to speak. He had a prophecy for each member of the staff and I was really surprised that I was included. He just spoke two scriptures over my name: Matthew 5:8 and Job 42:5. Here is what they say:
Matthew 5:8 - "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."
Job 42:5 - "My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you."
I always laughed when I thought of those verses, because if you know me AT ALL you know that I feel like a person who is not the least bit pure of heart! A man in our church started calling me "pure heart" when addressing me and I used to smile and think "ummm...no!"
However, over the last two weeks, both of these verses have been used either in Sunday service or BSF to encourage and enlighten me.
We sing a song in church about how "my ears have heard and now my eyes shall see your glory". On Sunday, our pastor, John Hernandez spoke about being pure of heart. Instead of addressing it like being pure of heart is always having pure thoughts/motives, he said that being pure of heart is having room in your heart ONLY for God and letting His love pour out over all the other things in your life (like family/spouse/finances, etc...) He had us make a list of all the things that we crowd into our heart and place over God. I think I wrote down 20 things....seriously! I was so convicted! And then it hit me....those who are pure of heart shall see God because God is all they see! When we start living like serving God is the most important thing, all things will fall into the place where GOD intends them to be.
Pray for me. We are taking the welcome class at our church and will have to make a decision in two weeks whether we would like to be members or not. We are really undecided and are feeling a little confused.
This learning stuff is kicking my butt.....but I have to say that I am SO loving it right now!
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