Have you ever watched the show "Starting Over?" It's a daytime reality TV show about six women who live in a house together and get life coach counseling and real counseling while they are there. They are learning how to live life "authentically" - which means that they have to get over all their misconceptions about themselves, how the world views them, and how they view the world. It's a very interesting show. I don't like parts of it, but you really get to like the women and root for them to be able to "graduate" when the time comes.
I realized today that I am in the process myself of starting over. I have moved to a new city, had to make new friends, find a new church, and try to figure out how to live around my family without interferring even when I REALLY want to! HA! I have had to face some misconceptions about myself and how I view others. It is a different world here in Arizona. Much different than Utah. I have just begun to realize how much more "open" I feel here.......
This past weekend we began the process of finding some friends. It's not been big on my "things I MUST do" list, but this friendship really just came out of the blue. I met Jessica at Cais' school. Her son, Anthoni is head over heels for Cais. It's pretty cute. She really likes him too. Needless to say they totally hit it off and got into LOTS of trouble in class (they eventually had to be seperated!). Anyway, I met Jessica at the Halloween part and we had so much in common (besides the fact that we thought our kids were totally cute!). She was born and raised in Utah (not LDS) and moved here about 11 years ago. Our kids are the same age (her other son is Sam's age). So, we've had a few playdates and then we decided to get our families together. We did that this weekend. We went over to Jessica and Brian's house on Friday. It was really fun, but it was weird. I kept expecting people I knew to come into the room - like I was in home group or something! HA! J and Brian hit it off too, so I guess we have officially made some new friends! It made me happy, but a bit melancholy. I guess we need to do this, but I just don't know if we will ever have the friendships like we did in Utah. They invited us to try their church, so I think we might do that next weekend. It is an alternative service on Sunday evening. I'm excited to try it out.
So, I'm starting over. It means that things will change, but I will never forget how I got here and the support of all of you that have helped me to do it. I'm so glad that we have all stayed in contact with each other over these last nine months. I'm so excited to see Alyson and Jenell, but I EXPECT a visit from Marlene and Jami SOON!
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4 comments:
I know what you mean about it being kind of wierd to make new friends. In a lot of ways I have not wanted to. Sometimes I think I subconsciously think that it will somehow invalidate what we had before, but I know that this is not true. One thing that is hard for me is that we don't know each other's new friends. We talk about new people to each other, but we don't know them. It is so strange. We had a really good thing and I think we knew it and I know that I, and I believe that you and Jenell, will never let it go. We can go on without giving each other up. I am so excited that we get to be together this weekend. I look forward to the comfort of old friendships!
I love you so much.
Jen, welcome to the East Valley. If you have any further difficulty finding a church, I can help. I attend a Vineyard in Gilbert, but I know of many other good ones int he area, too.
Shoot me an e-mail at matt@mattandjess.com -- for any reason. And if you're looking for another couple to go out to movies with, my wife is a movie hound. Maybe we could grab a movie and some coffee sometime.
(BTW, I don't come without references. I'm listed on Jason Coker's blog, so I'm probably just as nutty as all your other friends. hehe)
Boy, I know all about starting over. As you know, I was not a Christian yet when we moved to Utah almost 10 years ago. I didn't know anybody, and didn't have church as a place to meet new people, and I also had a 1 year old. For the first 6 months, I didn't do anything but walk the neighborhood pushing a stroller. Then, I guess I got lonely,and decided to join a Mommy and me group that met at McDonalds playland. I am still friends with a couple of gals I met there, but that was one of the hardest things to do. But, on the other hand, I also have stayed close with a few of my friends I left behind in San Diego. In fact, we have become closer since moving away.
HMMM, imagine that!
Just remember, nothing or nobody can replace a good friendship, but there is always room for new ones, too. I'm glad your one of my closest friends even from a distance!
Love you lots!
TRUST me, I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. I'm originally from Washington state, but grew up in Northern California. For some STRANGE reason, God clearly brought me here to Arizona, to be with my now husband, Matt. (Have been married now for just over 3 years) After a couple years back in Sacramento, we moved back here yet again, about 6 months ago.
For a woman about to turn 30, 2 sister-in-laws and some brothers just don't exactly cut it in the "fellowship" or "friends" catagories. I do get along with everyone... but have been starving for some friends of my own, fellowship with people that I can relate to.
Well Jen, I have to say that after having heard what Matt, my husband, (Gaddabout) has said about you and having come check out your blog as well, I'd have to say that you and I would probably get along very well. We have many things in common, (down to interest in music) as well as both being stay-at-home wife's. (We don't have kids, but hope to someday soon.) Matt literally will not shuddup about how you and I would get along, that you and I seem to be very similar people.
So I am very anxious to get over this pain-spike I'm currently in and promise to give you a call or send an email as soon as we can get together. Hopefully sometime very soon, we'll be able to get together for coffee, a movie, (dang, is Julia Roberts in anything out right now? She's my FAVE too) or whatever. I'm just excited about meeting someone OTHER than family. So we'll see... maybe God's doing something very cool in bringing the group of us together for some much needed friendships.
Take care and please don't be offended if we don't call within the next couple days. I don't know if Matt mentioned, but these pain-spikes can last for a day up to a couple of weeks or longer... so we really don't know when we'll be able to get together with you guys. But I promise you that we WILL call... and we both are very much looking forward to getting together with you.
Oh... by the way, Matt and I come from very similar backgrounds as you and your husband... My father was a Calvary Chapel assistant pastor, Matt from the Vineyard. So it sounds like you two are just swapped, you from Vineyard, hubby from CC. I just thought that was cool.
So yeah... anyway... take care! =o)
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