I danced today. It was the first time since I've lived here that I really felt led to do so. I didn't want to - in fact I argued with God for awhile. But, He said "take off your shoes and DO IT!" So, I did.
It was amazing. I felt years slide off of me as I lifted my hands and began to worship. REALLY worship. It was in my brother's living room, and it was great. We have been meeting together for about a month. We all have nowhere to go except where we are now.
J and I have really been feeling frustrated about the whole situation with church. But, today it didn't matter. All that mattered was that I was really able to enter in and hold the Father's hand and dance for Him.
We are really struggling. I feel so guilty about my kids not being in a church. Isn't that weird? I don't really care about church for myself, but I feel like my kids need to be plugged in somewhere. I actually enjoy just meeting with my family, but I know that J is getting antsy. We've all talked about a home church, but no one really wants to do that. We all want to be a part of the Vineyard, but don't know where to go. Chris wants to move to Fort Collins tomorrow if she could, so she really doesn't feel like they should be getting involved with something they may leave in a year (this is in regard to the home church). I totally understand that and appreciate the honesty. I just feel like something should be happening, but everyone is waiting .........for something...... Not that we should start a church, that freaks even me out. But, I just want to do what God has intended for me to do. And I don't really know what that is here and how to go about doing it. And so I am frustrated.....
But, I had such a wonderful time this morning dancing that I didn't care for awhile. Wil and Sam came in to dance with me and that was great. J gave me a big smile later and told me that it was nice to see me dancing again.
So, while I don't know what's in store for me here....I'm going to do what I feel God has shown me to do. Just keep dancing and holding tight to HIM.
1 comment:
Keep dancing, sister. Sometimes it is the only thing that can keep us going. I too danced on Sunday for the first time in a long time and it was fabulous. I think I am going to like our new worship leader.
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