happy new year

2005 has come and gone and with it a lot of memories and good times. J and I were reminiscing the other night and going over the year. It's amazing what God can do in one year to change us and build our faith.
This time last year I was at my end. I didn't know what was going to happen, and I wasn't sure I wanted to. I knew that God was working, but working at what, was my question. My family was with me, and I didn't want them to leave. Leaving meant that yet again I would have to say goodbye. I told J that he had to promise that I would never have to say goodbye to them again....of course he couldn't do that....which made me sob even more.
2006 brings a year full of promise and tests. Aion Construction is going full swing and we are encouraged by the contacts J has made and the favor that God haa had on him. I love being with my family and living in Phoenix! It is so great to be able to call my mom and know she is just around the corner if I need help. My kids love being with Niall and Charys. Wil is in love with his uncle Matt. It is really the fulfillment of a dream!
But, I have to say that something has happened that is shaking me to the core, and is putting me right back to where I was at the end of last year. I am late....six days to be exact....and I am really starting to panic. We took extreme measures (J's words - Ha!) to make sure this wouldn't happen again and now it seems like it might be. What's done is done, and if I am pregnant we'll have to deal with it. However, I am struggling with feelings of panic, anger, and selfishness. I really don't want to be pregnant....I don't enjoy it....I get sick...and my body doesn't deal well with it either. You all know how I feel, just put yourself in my place. This is difficult for me. I have never been in the position where I am not excited to not have my period! ARGH! Lots of frustration right now....sorry if this is rambling....we're going to get a test today to see what's going on. Please be praying for us. J is having to deal with a looney wife right now.....and he himself is very conflicted about his feelings. Maybe it's just holiday stress....but I just don't know. I'll post with the results tomorrow....
Happy New Year to me????????????
Happy New Year to you all! May God truly bless and enrich your lives with His love for you in the coming year. We all have surprises in store for us, I'm sure!
Love You All,
Jen