We have decided to start looking for a new church. We like the church we currently attend, but just don't feel like it's the right fit. This decision is hard, primarily because it means starting over yet again. We feel that we have gone about all this the right way, and know that this church just doesn't have what we need.
Last Sunday, we attended their welcome class. It was your basic Vineyard 101 class, background and vision stuff. I asked about dance and was told that I could lead a small group, but there wasn't room in the movie theater to dance. So, I couldn't ever dance in church. The pastor doesn't like free dance, with good reason. After careful consideration and prayer, I just feel that I need to go to a church that fully embraces dance and has an established team. This is what God called me to do with Cais and I feel that I need to honor that, no matter how uncomfortable that makes me. At BSF today, our leader said "Sacrifice is not a sacrifice unless it is a sacrifice." So true. This is a sacrifice to me, because this (dance) is always the first question I have to ask now.
It's interesting, because while J and I have been deciding this, my entire family has been in this same process. Matt and Chris and my mom and dad will be leaving the church either before or after Christmas. It's funny to me that this is all happening at the same time. I have known for some time that they have not been happy there, but just chalked it up to talk and not much more. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people leaving right now. I think it's a combination of needs not being met and giftings not being used because the leadership feels people aren't "good enough." Sadly, how are people ever going to learn how to do what God has called them to unless they are allowed to try, sometimes fail and then try again? I know from personal experience that the fact that Judy and Alyson allowed me to be on the dance team and were patient and worked with me, allowed me to build confidence to be able to actually dance before a congregation. It wasn't instant, but they saw that I was serious about what God had said and mentored that desire in my heart. Unless people are allowed to do that, how are new leaders, thoughts, ideas, music, worship going to be raised up?
Growing up as a pastor's kid has made me a little jaded when it comes to church. I tend to question motives and be very cynical - especially about church politics. Working in the church has made me really disillusioned with people in general. It seems that everyone wants a piece of the "action" without taking any responsibility for nuturing it and helping it grow. However, growing up a PK has enabled me to see these things and try to work to change it. I feel so much freedom in being able to make this decision. This is new for me, as I have never had to look for another church before. Weird.
Sorry my thoughts are rambling....I'm just processing all of this and hope it makes sense. We are going to try the Gilbert Vineyard after Thanksgiving and go from there. Pray that we are able to find a new church home quickly and without too much drama.
3 comments:
Hey, God bless you in your search. I know this must be a very difficult decision, but I believe God will bless you for it. Our ministry and gifting is so hard to handle sometimes because of how much controversy goes along with it. This part I hate. Mazana just told my mom the other day that she wanted to be a dancer when she grows up. My mom told her that she already is a dancer, but she said no, I'm not allowed to dance on the stage. Only adults can do that and so I can't be a dancer until I'm an adult. (As told by my mom.) This just breaks my heart, because while our church is supportive of dance, when it comes to kids we have a lot of rules and complaints, etc. and they really aren't free to dance. I don't know how to solve this problem.
I am so proud of you for sticking with what God told you to do. I know that it is not your first choice for a calling, but you are handling it beautifully!
I love you and wish you the best in your search.
This is going to be hard, but you need to find the church that best fits your family. I am glad you are going and not just feeling discontented. Good for you.
You'll know the right Church when you see it! It wasn't that long ago for us, and we knew right away. If you don't feel it, then its not the right place for you.
Good luck it that search!
As far as Alyson's comment on dance, I have to agree. It saddened me this week when I was asked to put something in the bulletin about kids staying on one side of the stage and they need to be supervised at all times. I didn't want to put it in there. But, apparently it bothers the Worship people when they run back and forth. But, I guess on the bright side, they are still allowed to use the left side of the stage, and haven't been told they can't dance at all!
I pray that you can find a Church where you can worship freely, and dance when and where you want to!
Love and Miss you!
Marlene
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